


Unconditional

by Draquete



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Remus, First Time, Fluff, M/M, self-conscious Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 11:15:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10276163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draquete/pseuds/Draquete
Summary: Remus is self-conscious about himself, his body, his scars. Sirius thinks Remus is the most gorgeous man on the planet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fic written for the Marauders Project at Voldemort Day forum with the item 'beach'.

 It had been Prongs’ idea. Remus, in all honesty, was a bit worried. He disliked these kinds of activities, but all the marauders were so pumped for their little trip that Remus decided to humour them and just go. Besides, how bad could it be?

It was the summer before their seventh year, and James had come up with the brilliant idea to spend a couple of weeks in a beach house his parents had rented. Obviously, it was bigger than Remus’ own home, but he never cared about that anyway. The thing was, Prongs’ parents weren’t going with them and Remus was a tad worried that they wouldn’t survive two weeks without supervision.

Sure, James was going to be Head Boy this year so his parents probably chose to trust their son in this adventure with his friends. Not to mention that they would take a house elf with them to make sure they were eating, and for that Remus was grateful because he couldn’t cook for shit, and he doubted any of his friends had even tried cooking in the first place.

The Potters had a rough time convincing Remus’ parents that they should let him go – and it didn’t matter that his friends kept on saying that he was of age now and could just do whatever the hell he wanted, because he would never do anything to upset his parents, who had given up so much because of him. But then it got decided that four days after the full moon they would be going to the beach and they would return way before the next full moon.

However, Remus had to admit that he wasn’t all that thrilled. Spending the summer on a beach meant going to said beach, lounging under the sun, swimming in the ocean and basically walking around half naked. And anyone who knew Remus could see exactly why stripping down to shorts wasn’t something he looked forward to.

His body was covered in scars; some old, some new, some almost completely healed, others that would remain forever. It was already rough when he was wearing clothes, because he knew people stared and wondered what happened to him, so imagine with more skin showing? Not that Remus was vocal about his issues, he didn’t share his burdens with anyone – not his parents, not the marauders – so it wasn’t like they knew about Remus’ lack of self esteem and just how self conscious he really was.

Therefore, he couldn’t complain about their trip. Hell, he didn’t want to complain anyway. He had no idea what the future had in store for them. As far as he knew, they would all get their own way, and with the war looming around them, things were going to change. This was the last time they were able to be children, with no worries. And Remus would enjoy every second of it.

They went to the beach house in the morning, even though Sirius complained the whole time how they should have left in the afternoon and not at such an ungodly hour, but once they got there, he was the first to get naked – which Remus had no idea why, since it wasn’t a nude beach, although it _was_ secluded – and run out of the house while howling. Peter almost fell over taking his clothes off to run after him and James did the same, although a bit more graciously. Remus, hesitating, took his time to take off his clothes, although in the end he was still wearing baggy shorts and a t-shirt.

When he was coming out of the house, he could see the three of them reaching the water, laughing their heads off with uncontrolled happiness. He smiled, thinking that yes, this was going to be nice. Sirius was the first to see him approaching and he stopped and pointed at him, shouting:

“Why are you wearing a shirt, Moony? You don’t have to take off your shorts if you don’t wanna but we’ve seen you naked before y’know.” Remus rolled his eyes and blushed, getting closer before replying, not feeling like yelling.

“Not everyone likes to flaunter around their naked arses like you, Padfoot.” Sirius pouted and before he could say anything else, Remus continued. “It’s not because you’ve seen me naked before that I think the beach is an appropriate place to walk around naked.” Not exactly a lie, and soon enough he was joining them into the ocean and they started a fight, throwing water into each other’s faces and trying to get each other under the water.

It was fun, and Remus relaxed, laughing good heartedly. Since they became friends, Remus learnt how to be happy. True, many things in his life were still awful, like his lycanthropy and the aftermath, but he had friends and he was loved. And he could pretend with them that he was normal. They’d all say that he _was_ normal, that, in fact, he was the most normal of the group, that being a werewolf didn’t make him a monster or a thing. He was still human, and a teenager at that. And it was easy to believe in it when he was with them.

A few hours later, Peter and Sirius were complaining about food and they made their way back to the house. Sirius, apparently, decided that staying nude was completely appropriate, even while eating. “We’ll be going back to the beach after, why should I bother with clothes?” Sirius asked while shoving food into his mouth. Remus rolled his eyes but had a small smile on his face. Sirius was full of shenanigans, but Remus couldn’t deny that he enjoyed them. Mainly when it meant seeing Sirius naked all the time.

James gave him a knowing look during lunch when Remus finally stopped looking at Sirius and he blushed at being discovered. Prongs knew about his feelings towards Sirius and he had always tried to encourage Remus to just tell Sirius how he felt, even though Sirius seemed completely oblivious about his feelings. Remus, however, never had the guts to say anything. He didn’t think Sirius would like him and even if he did, he wouldn’t be _attracted_ to him, not with the scars and all. Matters got even worse after The Prank and Remus had promised himself he wouldn’t love Sirius like this anymore, but one couldn’t control one’s heart after all.

Besides, he wouldn’t get hurt if he never said anything. They would never date or kiss or anything to Sirius be an insufferable prat and break his heart anyway. So this was good. He could live with this.

After lunch, they decided to take a nap in the living room. James got the armchair, Peter got the floor with a few pillows and so did Sirius – although he turned to a dog to sleep, so he was probably more comfortable that way – and Remus got the couch. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep. Probably the full belly, the heat, the sun and everything else were adding up to his sleepiness. So soon enough he was sleeping.

He woke up with a lick across his face. He sputtered and sat up before even opening his eyes, but when he did so, Padfoot was propped up on his front legs, still on his dog form, tail whipping from one side to the other, tongue lolling on his open mouth.

“Really?” He deadpanned, but when Sirius hopped on the couch and went to lick him again, Remus held him back and petted him on the head, giving him some scratches. Sirius stopped trying to lick him to enjoy the head scratches. James and Peter were still sleeping, James with his mouth wide open and Peter snoring. “I thought you were the one who was the most tired, yet here you are, waking _me_ up. Why didn’t you wake Prongs up first?”

Sirius looked at him, cocked his head to the side and then licked at Remus face yet again, making him groan. Then he made himself comfortable on top of Remus, lowered his head and closed his eyes. Remus stared for a moment in disbelief. Sirius was actually planning on sleeping on top of him. With a long sigh, Remus laid back down and closed his eyes, hands going to Padfoot’s fur, petting it lightly until he fell back asleep.

The next time he woke up was to muffled laughter. He blinked his eyes open a couple of times before looking to his side and seeing Wormtail and Prongs giggling while looking at him. He was about to ask why they were doing so when he felt movement on top of him and he looked down to see Sirius, in his human form and very much naked, also waking up, looking up at him through sleep glazed eyes.

“Hey, Moony.” He said with a smile, nosing at Remus’ chin like he would if he was still a dog.

Blushing violently, Remus pushed Sirius off of him, resulting in him falling to the floor on his butt. It at least served to wake him up, who also had the decency to blush when he noticed the other two still giggling at them.

“What?” He barked at them, getting on his feet and, perhaps feeling a bit self conscious that he was still naked, moved so he was behind the sofa and none of them had to see his dick. “Are we getting back on the beach or what?” At that, James perked up.

“Actually, it’s almost dark out. We thought in maybe doing a bonfire outside, with marshmallows and hot chocolate.” Padfoot smiled happily and Remus knew his tail would be wiggling if he were in his dog form. “But it’s gonna be a little chilly, so you might want to put some trousers on, mate.” At that, Sirius pouted.

“Fine.” He sighed dramatically before going up the stairs to put some clothes on. When he turned to James and Peter, they were both smiling knowingly.

“Can you two stop?” He asked, getting up as well and crossing his arms. “I think I’m gonna change to something warmer.” And he turned his back on them, hearing them laughing loudly, not a single care in the world.

He went to the bedroom he would be sharing with Peter – James and Sirius were obviously going to sleep in the same room, as they often did – but when he walked in, Sirius was there, pulling a muggle t-shirt on.

“Oh, hey, Moony.” Sirius said with a smile when he noticed him on the door.

“Sorry, I guess I’m in the wrong room.” But before he could turn away and go to the other bedroom, Sirius held his wrist.

“Wait. I guess we’re sharing. Those are your stuff, right?” He let go of Remus to point where his bag had been, next to a bed.

“I thought you and James were sharing.” Sirius only shrugged at that.

“I don’t mind sharing with you. Unless you don’t want to share with me, then I guess I can—“ Remus interrupted him.

“No! I mean, no, don’t worry. I was just wondering because you always share everything, and I usually share with Wormail. But I don’t mind sharing with either of you.” Sirius smiled again, and Remus had took go to his bag and fumble around with some clothes.

“We’ll be waiting downstairs.” Padfoot said and Remus only nodded. Once alone, Remus sighed and sat on the bed, bringing both hands to his face. It was ridiculous that he was getting nervous, they shared a room for seven years now, there was nothing to worry about. Except now they’d be alone in this room. Still, the room had two beds, no need to see too much into it.

Gathering his strength, Remus stood up again and just added on a jumper on top of his clothes, not wanting to get anything else dirty today. He got downstairs to James and Peter stifling their laughter and Sirius’ face completely red. He wondered if he wanted to know what had made Sirius, of all people, blush and become speechless, but he decided that it would be better to not know.

“So… We going?” Remus asked, pointing to the door.

“YES!” Prongs all but yelled and Remus couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. Outside, there was already everything they needed for the bonfire ‘party’ they were going to have, and Remus thought James might have asked the house elf to set everything up.

It was already dark, but the moon – waning slowly every day – and the stars were bright enough. However, it was chilly and they sat around the logs of wood on the sand before Sirius set it on fire with a flick of his wand. They started preparing marshmallows as they talked and laughed and Remus felt relaxed and loved. If every day was like this during this trip of theirs, he would be happy and have good memories for a lifetime.

Before the marshmallows ran out, Remus started making them all hot chocolates – because he might not know how to cook, but he knew how to prepare his hot chocolate, thank you very much. Then they sat in silence for a moment, looking at the stars and sipping on their beverages for a while before Sirius started pointing to the constellations and making bad puns or insulting people on his family while he did so, making them all laugh.

“Okay, ‘m gonna call it a night.” James said out of nowhere, standing up and pulling Peter with him. “Right, Wormtail? You’re tired too, c’mon.”

“Ah! Yes! Of course!” Peter dramatically yawned then and Remus deadpanned. “Let’s go.”

“We should probably go back as well—“ Remus started speaking, ready to get up when Prongs came in front of him.

“No, no, nonono. You should stay. Make sure Padfoot doesn’t get lost or anything.” Remus opened his mouth to point out that the bonfire was literally in front of the house, between the house and the ocean, there was no way Sirius could get lost, but James continued. “We’re going, bye.”

And they literally started running to the house. Remus watched them go until the door was closed. “O—kay. You know what…” Remus trailed off as he turned to look at Sirius again, who currently was looking at his own feet, seemingly shy – as if Sirius could ever be _shy_. “What’s wrong, Padfoot? Are you okay? Do you—“ He was interrupted by Sirius looking at him with such intensity he couldn’t find the words anymore.

Slowly, Sirius took his hands and held them gently, still looking Remus in the eyes. “Moony…” He started, voice only above a whisper, even though the stars and the moon were the only ones present to overhear their conversation. “I… I love you.” Remus’ eyes widened at those words, but Sirius continued hurriedly. “I mean, I know you’re probably upset with me because of The Prank and stuff, but uh, Prongs kept telling me you felt the same and I should just make a move because you wouldn’t and, I completely understand if you don’t feel the same or if you’d like to pretend none of this ever happened, but I just had to take this off my chest.”

He finally stopped speaking but Remus was still speechless. Sirius _loved_ him? Did he enter an alternative universe of his own life in which he wasn’t a werewolf and Sirius could actually be attracted to him? Or was this another prank? At the thought, his eyes welled up, but he forced himself not to storm out without talking this out with Sirius, even if he was pranking him.

“Is this a joke? Are you… Are you trying to embarrass me? To ridicule me for having feelings for you?” Remus asked, voice as low as Sirius’s had been.

“No! Remus, how can you think that?” Sirius pursed his lips as soon as he asked it and then continued. “Never mind, I know exactly how you can think that. But I promise I’m not lying, Moony. I do love you. I have for the longest of time, but after what I did I thought… I thought you’d hate me and would never love me back, not the way I did anyway.”

Oh. Sirius did love him, then. How was he supposed to react? Remus could still feel the unshed tears in his eyes and his vision was growing blurry, but he didn’t want to cry. “But _how_ can you love me? I’m a _werewolf_.” The last sentence was spoken so softly that Sirius had to lean in to listen, which made their faces be only inches apart. “I mean, I understand you’re my friend—“ although it was true it took him months to accept that the marauders honestly wanted to be his friends, and even longer after they found out about his furry problem. “—but… love me? Romantically? You want to, to kiss me and, you know, hold hands? How?”

His mind didn’t just go to the ‘holding hands’ because they all cuddled each other all the time, but he wasn’t about to bring up sex in this conversation, although it was the main problem. Would Sirius actually want to see him naked and touch his skin, even though it was filled with all sorts of scars? He already was too thin, almost unhealthily so.

“What are you talking about? Of course I want to kiss you and hold your hand—“ He squeezed Remus’ hand to prove his point. “—and touch you all over. I…” Sirius blushed a little before continuing, but he didn’t avert his eyes from Remus’s. “I try to show my affections when I’m a dog. Like licking your face and then sleeping with you earlier. And I just… want to keep doing it, all the time. Holding your hand all the time, kissing you all the time, holding you all the time.”

It was Remus’ turn to blush and he even averted his gaze to the fire, feeling unbearable to look into Sirius’ eyes as he said those things. But one of Sirius’ hand let go of his own hand and went to his chin, pulling it back. They stared each other for a moment and Remus’ breath hitched when he saw Sirius licking his own lips.

“I really wanna kiss you right now.” Sirius whispered, leaning forward. Remus did the same and closed his eyes, heart hammering in his chest.

When Sirius’ lips finally touched his, Remus sighed in relief. This was really happening, this wasn’t a dream and Sirius honestly wanted to kiss him. Sirius’ hands went to his face, cupping it softly and Remus, not knowing what to do with his hands, put his hands on top of Sirius’s. So when they broke the kiss up, they remained as close as they were, foreheads touching.

“Believe me now?” Sirius said with a smirk, giving a quick peck on Remus’ lips before looking curiously at him again. Remus nodded slowly.

“Yeah.” He stopped for a minute before deciding to continue. “I mean, I still wonder how and why, but I do believe you.” Sirius frowned and finally put some distance between them, but his hands went to Remus’ thighs, to make sure he was still touching him somehow and Remus couldn’t help but think that was endearing.

“How? Moony, you’re by far the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You’re kind, funny, faithful, smart, mischievous, handsome—“ At that he gave him a wink and Remus only blushed. “—you’re the whole package. Anyone who doesn’t see all that is an idiot.” Remus opened his mouth to deny all that, but Sirius continued. “And why? Merlin, Moony, it’s not like we choose to fall in love with people. I just… I think that if I could choose someone to fall in love with, it would still be you. Because you’re amazing and… You want me to be good, better… You know?”

Remus was dumbstruck for a moment. He had never thought anyone could think he was all that – yeah, he liked to believe he was smart and faithful, but everything else? He had no idea any one could perceive him that way – but Sirius was speaking so matter-of-factly that Remus simply believed in him.

“Okay.” Sirius frowned, unsure if Remus was giving up on the conversation or actually believing him, so to sane his doubts, Remus leant forward and kissed Sirius again. It was brief, but soft and full of meaning, and when they broke it off, Sirius had a smile on his lips. “We should probably head back now. Get under the covers, because it _is_ chilly out here.” His clothes were dry but the bonfire wasn’t helping much anymore, so it would be better to go back. They _were_ sharing a room after all.

“Can we put our beds together and sleep together?” Sirius asked, standing up and giving Remus a hand to stand up as well. “Or I could sleep with you as a dog if you prefer.” Remus chuckled as they started walking toward the house, but then almost jumped when he felt Sirius’ warm fingers on his own.

“We can transfigure the beds into only one.” He said a moment later, giving a light squeeze on Sirius’ hand. Sirius celebrated, throwing his free hand into the air and yelling, to which Remus had to shush him so they wouldn’t wake the other two up.

Once inside, Remus sent Sirius to the shower while he transfigured the beds together – even though Sirius whined that he was better at transfiguration. Remus just needed some time to think. They had shared beds before, but James and Peter had always been in the same room – and more often than not, in the same bed as well – but now they had privacy and, not only that, but now they knew how each other felt. While Remus would be interested in doing more than making out, he was still really self conscious about himself.

With a sigh, Remus reminded himself that Sirius had seen him naked many times, mainly after the full moons, so he saw Remus at his worst. If he was still attracted to Remus, if he still wanted him even after seeing him like that, Remus had to believe Sirius meant it. When Sirius was back from the shower, hair wet and loose pyjama bottoms, Remus went for his own shower. By the time he was finished, he checked on James and Peter and could tell that they were in fact sleeping. So, blushing a little, Remus marched to the bedroom and Sirius was there, lying on the bed on his stomach, propped on his elbows while reading something.

“So…” Remus stated, moving slowly towards the bed. Sirius turned and instantly closed his book, throwing it on the floor and giving Remus more space on the bed.

“Come here, Moony. I don’t bite.” Sirius gave him his biggest grin and Remus rolled his eyes, but then couldn’t help but chuckle.

“We both know that’s not true.” It was Sirius’s time to laugh and Remus had to shush him again as he got into the bed beside Sirius.

“Well, dog-me has no limits.” Sirius paused for a moment before continuing. “Normal-me has no limits either, I know.” Remus chuckled and got closer to Sirius. They stared at each other for a moment, lying on their sides with only an inch between them. “Moony.” Sirius said softly, bringing a hand to Remus’s face, caressing him lightly. “Can I ask you something?” Remus nodded, heart beating fast. Was Sirius going to ask about kissing him again? Or maybe even about sex? Not trusting his voice, Remus waited. “When I said how I felt about you, you asked me how I could since you were a werewolf. Why would you say any of this?”

Remus gaped at that, not having expected something like this. He didn’t really want to share that with Sirius, he didn’t want to confess how he felt about himself and that it was unrealistic that anyone – mainly someone as stunning as Sirius – could like him or think he was attractive. But Sirius was waiting and if they were doing this – if they were going to actually date, to become official – Remus should probably tell him the truth.

“Everyone knows werewolves are monsters, Sirius. Perhaps I’m not… evil when I’m not transformed, but you know what I can do, you’ve seen what I am. Every day after a full moon I expect someone to tell me I killed someone and the next week I try to count all the students to make sure a body won’t be found mutilated. Why would anyone want to date a monster?”

“Moony—“ Sirius started, getting closer and embracing Remus, making sure his whole body was touching Remus’s. “—you’re _not_ a monster. Your lycanthropy does not define you. When you’re a werewolf, you’re out of your mind, but when you’re you, you’re the best person to have ever walked this planet. And I’ll tell you this every day. I’ll go out every full moon with you to make sure you don’t hurt anyone and then I’ll take care of you the next day and tell you over and over how wonderful you truly are.”

Remus had tears in his eyes and this time he couldn’t help but let them fall freely. “It’s not only that, Padfoot. I… I’m not beautiful. I’m covered in scars and they are ugly, you can’t say they aren’t because I know it wouldn’t be true. How can I believe someone as handsome as you would find me attractive at all?” At that, Sirius gaped and he sat down on the bed, looking down at Remus, eyes roaming all over his body – even though Remus was wearing pyjamas and he couldn’t really see anything.

“Are you kidding me? I mean, I hate that you have scars—“ At that, Remus’ sobs grew louder and he closed his eyes, bringing his hands to his face in shame, but Sirius tugged them down, forcing Remus to look at him. “—I hate them because you only have them because of the wolf. The wolf hurts you, Moony and I hate it. We try to make it better, but there are days… There are days I can’t do anything to stop you from hurting yourself and I hate it.” Remus was not expecting that, but it only showed that Sirius did find them ugly. “But you’re so fucking gorgeous Remus. I love your eyes, they have the most exquisite colour. And your smile! I melt every time you smile, and I hate it that you don’t do it as often as I’d like you to. Your mouth is also so tauntingly succulent, and kissing you was the best feeling in the world. But, Moony, your body. Your skin… I love it all. I want to touch you all over. Kiss every scar, mark you all over with love bites so when you look yourself in the mirror you won’t mind the scars because you’ll be too busy looking at the marks I gave you, remembering how it felt.”

Remus was speechless and there were tears still streaming down his face, but he couldn’t even blink, eyes fixed on Sirius. That was one of the most lovely things he had ever heard and he had never, not even in his wildest dreams, thought anyone would genuinely love his body. Licking his lips, Remus sat on the bed as well and he leant forward, lips only slightly away from Sirius’s.

“Show me, Padfoot, how much you love me. I want all that.” Not only he wanted, but he needed to feel Sirius’ love. Words were easy, they could often be deceiving, but action? Remus truly believed Sirius now, but he needed it, he needed Sirius to touch him and love him thoroughly.

Sirius, as soon as Remus stopped speaking, kissed Remus passionately. Remus got closer until he was gingerly sitting on Sirius’s lap, Sirius’ hands around him, holding him tight. They stayed like that for a long moment, just kissing each other, tasting and mapping each other’s mouths while they held each other as if their lives depended on it. And to Remus, nothing he had experienced before was as overwhelming and pure as this moment, as Sirius willingly devoting himself to love Remus.

After some minutes, Sirius broke the kiss for a moment, just enough to ask Remus if it was okay to take off his shirt. Remus blushed, but nodded, and they went back to kissing as Sirius popped open every button on Remus’ shirt. Once he was finally out of it, Sirius broke the kiss again to just stare at Remus’ chest and Remus couldn’t help but squirm under that blazing gaze. “Beautiful.” Sirius whispered before kissing and sucking on Remus’ neck and shoulder, hands running all over Remus’ back, fingers gently tracing the few scars on his back.

Then Sirius’ hand went to his chest and stomach, caressing him as if Remus could break if he was slightly rougher, and every time his fingers found a scar, they’d trace them tenderly while his kisses and sucks on Remus’ neck intensified. Remus could only gasp and hold Sirius by the waist, fingers gripping tightly on the flesh as Sirius’ mouth marked him over and over. Tired of only giving attention to Remus’ neck, Sirius laid Remus back on the bed so he could explore his chest better; then he fulfilled his promise.

Sirius kissed every scar, and at each and every one of them, he had sweet words spoken to Remus. “You’re beautiful”, “You’re perfect”, “I love you so much”, “I’m so happy you love me too” and all that, added with the kisses on his scars and sucks on his unmarred skin, marking it with his mouth and his love, made Remus want to scream at the top of his lungs that he couldn’t believe how lucky he had been. He still wondered if he deserved this, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about any of that when Sirius was so vehemently telling _and_ showing him just how much he was loved.

“Can I, uh… Can we go further?” Sirius asked and Remus’ gaze went to the visible tent on his trousers before blushing and looking back at Sirius and nodding. “I’mma take your trousers of now, ‘kay?” Remus nodded again. He was glad Sirius was being mindful of asking him before doing something, even though Remus had asked him to do it before. It gave Remus the choice of backing off even though he knew he wouldn’t because he wanted this so much; it did help to prepare himself for it, though, so when Sirius did take off his trousers, Remus was already expecting it, expecting Sirius eyes travelling up and down his body.

Sirius, then, continued kissing his skin, completely ignoring his hard dick. He kissed and marked Remus’s legs and thighs, even going as far as doing the same with his arms and murmuring he’d love to do the same on his back. “Padfoot.” Remus whined in a small voice and Sirius looked up from where he was almost at his shin. “Take off your trousers as well.” Sirius brightened up at the idea and he promptly did as he was told; and Remus had to take a moment to just look at Sirius.

Even though Sirius liked to parade around completely naked – and Remus had gotten an eyeful a few times – he had never been allowed to look like this, to see Sirius hard – and for him! He couldn’t stop himself then and he brought his hands to Sirius’ sides, running his hands throughout that soft, perfect skin. Sirius, not one to sit idly, lied down on top of Remus and kissed him ardently, teeth and tongue playing a big part in the kiss, his hips moving now that their cocks were bare and touching.

And it felt _so bloody good_. Remus couldn’t even think straight anymore. He just wanted to touch and kiss, and be touched and kissed. Remus wanted more, but he didn’t know how to ask for more. Their dicks sliding together felt good, but he wanted to feel better. Thankfully, Sirius brought up a solution. “Can we, please, _please_ , Moony, can we fuck?” His voice was tight and breathless, but his eyes were bright and the silver in them almost vanished due to the dilated pupils.

“Yeah, Padfoot, _yes_.” Remus agreed and Sirius actually moaned in relief, but before he could kiss Remus again, Remus continued. “How? I, I’ve never… done anything like this before.” Sirius stared at him for a moment with a soft smile on his face and he stopped moving his hips. Bringing both hands to cup Remus’ face, Sirius kissed him gently for a moment before speaking.

“However you want. We can suck each other off or I can fuck you or you can fuck me. Whatever you want, Moony, and we’ll do it.” And Remus knew he meant it. He even thought that if he asked for them to stop, Padfoot would accept it and get off of him and that made Remus even more aroused, knowing that Sirius cared so much for his well being.

“Fuck me. Love me, Padfoot.” They had two weeks on the beach, sharing a bed, so he knew they’d have time for all of it. And, Merlin, he wanted it all. But he had never even played with his own arse before, so having Sirius do it first to him would help him learn, so next time, when he did fuck Sirius, he wouldn’t hurt him or do anything wrong.

Sirius looked like a mad man after Remus’ words, mauling every inch of Remus’ skin with his mouth as his hands now gripped and squeezed anywhere they could reach. Sirius asked Remus to open his legs and then knelt between them. He found his wand on the bedside table and murmured a spell Remus knew all too well. He then started kissing Remus’ thigh as one of his fingers touched Remus’ rim, just teasing for a moment before finally letting it slide in. Remus gasped at the sensation, clenching around the finger and Sirius stopped moving, finger only half way in.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, free hand going to Remus’ – still very erect – dick and pumping it a couple of times. Remus, however, shook his head.

“No, it’s just… It’s weird.” He closed his eyes and breathed in and out and Sirius felt the muscle unclenching around him. Truth be told, Remus could take a lot of pain and he guessed most of it was thanks to his lycanthropy, so he doubted this would actually make any damage. Sirius wouldn’t test it. “Go on. I’ll tell you to stop if it hurts.”

Now, more prepared for the feeling, he moaned when he felt the rest of Sirius’ finger going in. Sirius moved the finger slowly at first and then he started trying to find Remus’ prostate and when he did – because Remus gave a howl of pleasure – he quickened his pace until Remus asked for another finger. Sirius took his time to slide the second along, even though Remus wasn’t clenching on him, his breathing helping him to relax. In no time, Sirius was fucking Remus with two of his fingers and when he noticed Remus was very much far gone, he started scissoring his fingers to open him wider, the feeling only making Remus writhe and moan on the bed, hands holding the bedsheets tightly.

“Padfoot, do it, I’m ready.” Remus begged – or more like ordered, to which Sirius found highly endearing, but he wouldn’t just do that. He added a third finger and continued opening him up, Remus’ eyes glazed with arousal as he looked straight at Sirius’ face, mouth open as all sorts of pleased sounds fell out of it. When Sirius finally deemed him ready, he used the same spell on his own cock before positioning himself better in between Remus’ legs. “ _Finally_.” Remus sighed in relief, hands going to wrap themselves around Sirius’ neck.

He felt the blunt head of Sirius’ cock at his gaping entrance and at the first push inside, when the head was in, Remus couldn’t help but clench around him, Sirius’ cock clearly thicker than only three fingers, regardless of the stretch Sirius had given him. It didn’t hurt though, and it didn’t feel weird anymore, so Remus guessed it was a common reaction. It did make him a bit anxious though, but as soon as he unclenched, Sirius was sliding in again, their breaths mingling together, eyes locked on each other, foreheads touching.

And then Sirius was completely inside and they both moaned at the feeling. Sirius started moving, slowly and erratic at first, trying to not just come the moment he started moving and Remus got used to the feeling and it was amazing. Remus wanted to laugh and cry and come all at once, so overwhelmed he was. But Sirius’ eyes were grounding him and as Sirius started moving faster, a small grin forming on his perfect lips, Remus could only mimic it, letting Sirius see how happy he truly was. It wasn’t just the sex – in fact, they were actually _making love_ and that was what was special about all of this.

When they were both too hot, Sirius’ hips moving erratically, his thrusts becoming sloppier and Remus’ resolve was crashing, they both knew they were about to come. It seemed like they were at it for mere seconds and it seemed unfair, even though both knew minutes had passed them by. Remus knew he was about to come but he needed something to trip him over the edge, so he took one of his hands to his cock and started jerking off as fast as he could, and the pounding on his prostate, the way Sirius’ length moved inside of him, it was all too much and he finally came with a howl of Sirius’ name.

Sirius, on the other hands, growled and bit Remus’ shoulder as he started moving even more enthusiastically, but it was only half a dozen thrusts later that he was coming as well, hands squeezing Remus’ hips as he did.

They remained still for a long while, their laboured breathing the only sound on the room as they tried to catch their breaths. Until Remus started laughing. Well, and crying too if he was honest, but he was just so happy, so overwhelmed he couldn’t contain himself. Sirius chuckled on top of him but then winced when his soft cock moved inside of Remus and he pulled out before laughing as well, kissing Remus’ face as he did – on his scars, on clear skin, on top of his eyes, everywhere.

“I love you, Moony.” He finally said when the laughter died down and only smiled remained.

“I believe you, Padfoot.” And in that moment, that was what mattered the most and Sirius almost broke down himself, but Remus held him close and kissed him tenderly and whispered “I love you too” back while stroking Sirius’ back.


End file.
